Is Your Tween Too Sexy Too Soon
Eight year olds wearing makeup? Nine year olds singing about hoes ? Ten year olds wanting six pack abs or big breasts? Experts tell you how to counteract the sexual messages that surround our kids, and help them stay young a little longer.
Kathy Smith s 10 year old son, Mason, and his friends often ogle the buxom women and muscular male characters in video gpatagonia better sweater fleece jacket - men'sames. The boys make comments about the women s breasts, but they also talk about the men, she says. Tpatagonia chile guide2hey ll zoom in on one of the guys and say, Look how big his private parts are, says Smith. Now Mason often asks his mom, When am I going to have a six pack? I told him ten year olds don t have six packs, says Smith. He says he can t wait until he s twelve so he can work out on the adult floor of the gym. I try to stress that being healthy is the most important thing.
Situations like this are all too common these days, and they re affecting kids at younger and younger ages. When you think about the explicitly sexy ipatagonia chile guide3mages and themes children are exposed to in video games, tpatagonia better sweater best priceelevision shows, and music videos, it s hardly surprising that many start to imitate some of the behavior they see daily. Idols like Miley Cyrus seem to morph overnight from wholesome Disney TV star to strutting video vamp in leather. Lindsay Lohan s youngest fans know her as both the freckle faced girl fromThe Parent Trapand an out of control young woman in trouble with the law.
What s alarming is that new research spatagonia black hole mini messenger reviewhows that sexual images and messages can take a serious toll on your child s well being. That message is a minefield for children.
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Studies have shown that girls who are obsessed with their appearance are more likely to start smoking, become depressedand develop an eating disorder as they get older. When girls reach the teen years, those who value themselves only for their sexual attractiveness are more likely to do risky things, such as avoiding using condoms during sex, since they re not comfortable asserting themselves in sexual situations. These girls are also less able to focus on academic tasks and physical activities.
Boys, meanwhile, are getting the message that they need to have an attractive girlfriend to be accepted. And those boys who feel they need to appear sexually active and tough to be considered cool may patagonia chile guide1become depressed if they don t measure up. When kids judge each other based on their looks, they don t learn how to have caring, connected relationships, she adds. Both boys and girls may be at risk of developing body image problems and loss of self esteem if they strive to look sexy when they re still too young.
The good news is you can help your child navigate these minefields. You don t need to have all the answers; simply acknowledging the pressures your child is facing is enough. The goal is to keep the lines of communication open so that when bigger issues come up, your child will feel safe talking with you, says Brown.
Here, parents and experts share their strategies for tackling some of the most troubling sexual dilemmas kids are facing today.
My 6 year old son walked up to a girl and said, I want to have sex with you!
Your son probably has no idea what the word [sex] means, so if you come down hard on him, it will be frightening and confusing, says Kilbourne. Ask him why he said it and what he thinks it patagonia men&s better sweater vestmeans. Chances are he doesn t know, so you can give him an age appropriate definition.
Encourage patagonia argentina new york timesyour son to talk to you about words he doesn t understand. Since the source of many of these words is television, it may be helpful if yopatagonia women's fullu watch his favorite TV shows and movies with him, and discuss what he sees and hears. In fact, a study showed that when parents watch a show and discuss it with their kids, they can influence the way children interpret the sexual messages on TV. Even shows young children watch, such asiCarly, Zoey 101andVictorious, contain subtle sexual messages. Kids are confused about the messages they re getting from TV, says Levin. We re blaming children for saying and doing things that make perfect sense given what they re exposed to. Adults need to stop punishing kids and help them try to understand what s going on.
That strategy worked for Christina Diehl when her 6 year old son, Erich, told a girl at a family cookout that she was sexy. Diehl took him aside and calmly asked if he knew what the word meant. He thought about it for a minute and said, She s pretty. Diehl told Erich she d rather he used the word pretty. I said, We don t use the word sexy when we talk to girls, recalls the mom of two from Long Valley, NJ. I was upset because he didn t know what the word meant. I m worried that he will continue to say things he doesn t understand, and people will get angry.
My 9 year old daughter wants to wear short skirts and midriff baring tops to school, bpatagonia discount code for amazonut I don t want her to dress like a teenager.
Your immediate reaction might be to nix the trashy outfits, but you re better off trying to figure out what would make your daughter happy. If you say no, your child might learn to do things behind your back, says Levin. If you let her feel like she has a voice, you ll help her learn to live thoughtfully and responsibly.
Ask your daughter why she wants to dress like this. If she says she s worried that her friends or boys won tpatagonia chile guide0 like her if she doesn t, ask if her girlfriends have the same problem and what they do. Explain why you re concerned and sympathize about how hard it is to live up to these standards. Then try to compromise. Maybe she can wear a short but not too short skirt with her favorite sweater. In the meantime, try to get her interested in something other than clothes. Encourage her to participate in activities that will make her feel good about herself, such as gymnastics or the school playand support her friendships with kids less concerned about appearances.
Annette Cavallone faced this situation recently when her 7 year old daughter, Sara, wanted to tie up her shirt to expose her midriff at a soccer game. I asked her why, and she said the other girls wear their shirts like that, and she wants to show her belly because she s skinny, says the mother of three in Long Valley, NJ. Sara thinks it s cool to look like that, but she doesn t understand what sexy is. I said, You re here to play soccer; this isn t a fashion show. And I mentioned that she wouldn t be comfortable playing soccer that way. I m wondering, where are these girls going to go from here if they re dressing like teens now?
My 11 year old son and 9 year old daughter love listening to music and singing along with the lyrics. But how can I talk to them about sexually explicit lyrics like bluffin with my muffin from Lady Gaga s Poker Face, or the hoes in rap songs like Crank That (Soulja Boy) ?
You can t always control the music your kids hear and yopatagonia guide jacket 1970u don t want to always be in a confrontational relationship with them so the best way to handle it is to start with an open ended, positive question like Why do you like this music? Of course, they ll tell you it s cool or all their frpatagonia guide pants guyiends listen to it, but you need to welcome their opinions so your kids will listen to you when you tell them how you feel about the music, says Dr. Shrier.
Once you ve heard them out, say you understand why they like it, then mention your objections. You can say something like I can see why you like the music, but I don t like the way the singer talks about women, says Kilbourne, who herself had a discussion with her daughter about Eminem. You might also point out that many rap artists try to create a tough image for themselves because it helps sell their music, adds Kilbourne. If your kids ask what the lyrics mean, put them in simple, age appropriate terms they ll understand, such as hoe is not a nice way to describe someone, says Dr. Shrier.
